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November 2007

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Nov. 13th, 2007

aww?

(no subject)

How precious. I wanted to be bitter, I wanted to be angry, but I can't. They are still there, and more. I suppose the older one, the boy, must be Chuei, but there are three more after him. Two girls and another boy. They are all so young, and that little one. She melts my heart. I snuk there, the chimney was smoking, so I carefully peeked in the window. I saw Chuei stirring something over a pot. The others were trying to help, but the littlest could barely reach the lip on her tip toes. I smiled. It's been so long, I didn't think I remembered. My mother must have been out... their mother? I wonder if I should call them my family still. no doubt they believe their oldest brother to be long dead. I saw no sign of the father at first, until one girl brought a bowl on a tray to the bed. He was there, and it looks like he had lost the use of his legs.

I don't know how to feel. I can just feel empty when I try and think about him now. The farm has grown small. I suppose there is no one to tend the whole thing anymore and the house looks bear. I wonder how many other things they sold off before they accepted their poverty. However, I see the children and they are all smiling. Even Father. Smiling and beaming with pride when he looks at them. It makes my heart ache, but with what I can't tell. I have a few coins left from those men. I'll give them to this family. These children need better food.
aww?

(no subject)

What are the odds? I nearly turned right back around when I found out, but there isn't another town for miles. I should know, I grew up here. I didn't recognize it at first. I suppose the memories were clouded by time, but I remember it now. Perhaps it was the smell. I rememebred the smell in this one spot and then I was suddenly back. All thoes years melted and I could remember holding hands with my mother down the market street to trade our rice. Do they still live here? I find myself morbidly curious just to glimpse them again. I'll buy my suplies and go back. I want to see it. I wager it's broken down and abandoned by now, but I just want to see.
dark eye

Thief stuff

Fifteen silver. It's not a lot, but it can get me what I need. There were travelers on the road. I could hear them coming this morning from my camp. They set up for the night and I snuk in. They must have been kept out by the graces of sake, because I didn't make a graceful thing about it. I found a sack with coins. It looks like they had plenty, but I still hesitated. I wasn't out to rob them. I don't want to be like a bandit out here, stealing from travelers, but what else am I?

Still, I have the money now. I can go into the next town and pick up a few items and never do that again.
serious business

(no subject)

Hunting is getting easier. It would be that I have finally learned how to shoot now that the lands are getting warmer. Still. Making clothing is useful and I've managed to make something of a holster for the dagger. The mountain is behind me now. I suppose that puts me officially in Eyiou. There are some supplies I'll need if I'm going to continue to live out here, but I don't know how I'll buy them. I have nothing of value to trade and I have no more money.
aww?

(no subject)

It's been seven days on the trail I found south. It heads towards the central mountain it's ominous form getting closer every day. I set up a temporary camp under an over hang off of the road. It's raining now. I like the sound of the rain and the smell afterwards. It smells like new beginnings. I wonder if I can have a new life out here. Yesterday I shot my first dear. I gutted it. I have never been so sick in my life. The stomach ruptured and the smell was unbelievable. I wretched almost immediately. I had to drag it to the lake and wash it out. In this cave is where I found the most dry kindling. It took hours to get a spark to ignite, but finally I did. The fire blazed and I forgot the cold for a few blessed hours. I have no salt to preserve the meat, so I hope it will last long enough for me to find another. There is a stream, but fishing is something I wouldn't even have the first clue how to begin.

The skin of the dear will make for warmer clothes. I've heard of travelers who stitch the hide together with bone and gut. I guess I'll have to make due with pins. I'm not going back down where the innards are.
serious business

(no subject)

I've set up a target. I guess two weeks living on berries and lemon grass is getting frustrating. I set some twigs and leaves up with mud to protect from the night winds, but I have to leave here soon. It isn't going to get any warmer come fall time. I saw the puddles of rain start to ice over night. It's not much, but it reminds me that I need to find my way back south.
beaten but not down

Survival

It's harder than I expected. The nights are cold and hunting is difficult. I managed to find One dear the other day, but my shots went shallow and it ran before I could hit it. I bought a good bow with the money I had, but I couldn't manage to barter a hunting knife. I suppose it's fate that gave this one to me. I had planed on throwing it away. I wanted nothing of theirs, nothing to remind me of what had happened, but I need to keep it now. Maybe it's not meant to be forgotten. Perhaps it's something I should hold on to and keep with me as a reminder never to falter again. Lucky for me I know my way around the berries and plants out here. If not, I would have starved.

Nov. 6th, 2007

serious business

Betrayed

Never. Never again. I should have known better then to trust anyone. What will people not do for money? Quin-y sold me out. I was practicing the new technique he had shown me and I saw the poster. A wanted poster, my image crudely drawn on the parchment. At first I had thought that he had taken it down. The traders must be looking for their lost property, and I thought he might have not wanted anyone else to see. No. There was a letter, sealed in his wax and written to them. He said he wanted more, more than the reward they offered and then he would contact them. I left there, took nothing but what was on me. I bought a cloak and ran. I wish I could have said goodbye to Li-seifu, but I wonder at what amount that friendship would have also broken. Being alone is the best way to survive. I'm making my way south. The cold out here is too harsh to live in without shelter. At least I picked up enough to survive from the liars. I just have to buy a bow and I can disappear for good.
cute evil

(no subject)

I can now channel my energy much better. The mark on my head, It lights up and shines with this immense heat when I fight and Li-seifu has told me that I've come a long way in a short time. I think it's because of the symbol, but he swears it's my own innate ability. He told me about the mark, though. He recited a scroll for me. The story was older than he was, but he seemed to know it by heart as if he'd been there. The mark glows 'Oni'.
aww?

(no subject)

Thirteen. I can't believe it's only been seven years since I have last been with my family. Jai-lin Li is a good teacher, but it's rare that I get to be with him for training. Mostly, I'm studying with Quin-y-quai. He's much more strict, but nice enough. They know about the mark and my suposed destiny. Jai-lin says I am destine for great things. I don't know about that, but I will try for him.

Quin-y is teaching me meditation. It's difficult to not get boiled over when I think about what my life had been and what my father did, but they say it's all a part of controlling your power so I need to.

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